Depression ruins lives. Don’t let it ruin yours!
Isn’t it about time for you to rise like the phoenix from the ashes?
There is a clear and obvious link between depression and challenging events in life.
Sudden unexpected shocks can cause depression.
A series of sudden unexpected shocks can cause major depression.
But have you considered that a large number of “minor shocks” can be every bit as devastating as a small number of major shocks?
Hypnotherapy is proven to be a fantastic technique for helping with depression.
Why settle for managing your depression, when you can literally be free of it?
How do we treat depression? Very effectively!
Depression has long been recognised as being a result of various forms of stress and even trauma. The challenges we face in life are invariably at the heart of all forms of depression.
Life circumstances, like the death of a loved one, loss of a career, the end of a marriage or important relationship are all obvious contributors. Other potentially traumatic experiences like a physical or sexual assault, major accidents, or being effected by a natural disaster also dramatically impact your feelings of well-being and can result in depression.
As Human beings, we tend to naturally take a very “unhelpful” approach to dealing with our emotional reactions to these types of life circumstances. We are told to “put it behind us”, “build a bridge and get over it”, toughen up, forget it.
Even the all-time favourite “GOMO” Get Over It and Move ON.
These nifty little sayings, and other similar forms of advice, although well meaning, are perhaps the worst advice you can ever get. They are all forms of “denial”. A denial of the emotions generated as a result of our perceptions of our experiences. Emotions are quite literally a form of energy. That’s why they call them “feelings”, because we feel that emotional energy in our physical bodies. When the effective expression of emotional energy is not allowed to take place, those emotions become stored and trapped within the very cells of our bodies.
The end result of this is we get “stuck” with those emotions. They can have a devastating impact on our “physical health”…think of the associated aches and pains that so often go hand in hand with depression. Sleep can really become a problem; you either can’t seem to get enough of it, or can’t do anything much but sleep. Your energy levels can become seriously depleted, and your motivation can just “fly out the window”.
As bad as this can be, it is still not the real problem. When we experience an event that often times catches us “off-guard” we usually want to get rid of our painful thoughts and feelings related to whatever it was we found so disturbing. The faster we can get rid of them the better. Let’s be realistic, no one likes feeling those kinds of feelings, or thinking those “unhelpful” thoughts.
Denial: A Guaranteed road to depression.
The strategy that we as human beings traditionally use to be free of those “thoughts and feelings” is actually a form of “disassociation”. It’s a form of avoidance, of denial. We attempt to shove them from our conscious mind into the “unconscious” part of our mind. When they are safe and sound in our “unconscious minds” they are no longer in our “conscious” awareness. In other words, we think we have forgotten them, we think we have dealt with them because we are no longer “consciously” aware of them. We think we are safe from them….we are so incredibly wrong!
Our unconscious minds are not necessarily happy with this little strategy, so they tend to shove those memories back into our conscious awareness. (This can result in recurring nightmares, phobias, flashbacks, panic attacks etc.) The reason it does this is because it wants you to deal with these painful thoughts and feelings. Your unconscious mind knows that locking those painful memories away can only cause you harm; mental, emotional and physical.
Next comes the really tragic part. In most instances, we don’t know how to deal with those emotions and feelings, they frighten us, they disturb us, we don’t want them. So, because we don’t really know what to do about them, we again shove them into our unconscious minds, hoping they will be “forgotten” once and for all!
Our unconscious mind has the final say in this little game of push and shove. It might let you win; for a while. It might decide that storing those thoughts and feelings is definitely not in your best interests and it will force you to address your “pain” It will keep shoving this pain in your face until you eventually get around to dealing with it. This might sound like a simplistic example, but it is a very “accurate” one.
When your unconscious mind is “not happy” it will make your life an absolute misery. It can do this in some very creative ways. One of these is depression. There are multitudes of other ways as well, including physical illness. Our focus here however is not only on depression, but on how we can resolve it for you.
The Real Issue:
The real issue with depression is not so much the feelings, or emotions, caused by our painful life experiences, but the perception of those events. In other words, it’s not what we “felt” about those dramas but what we “thought” about them that is the real source of the depression. Our thoughts create our feelings, therefore if we think a different thought we will have a different feeling.
The solution is relatively simple; identify what those events, perceptions and associated feelings are, and remove them from the unconscious mind. It’s fairly logical really.
Consider this; If the real problem is the memories and the perceptions and feelings related to those memories. And if they are all stored in the unconscious part of the mind, which they obviously are. Then what is the undisputed best technique ever devised to gain access to them? Hypnotherapy!
Certainly other forms of “talking therapies” like counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help to identify the real problems. None of them however, no matter what form the therapy might take, can possibly hold a candle to the awesome speed and effectiveness of hypnotherapy conducted by a skilled therapist experienced with depression. The proof of this can be found in the statistics on the number of sessions required to resolve PTSD using hypnotherapy compared to other modalities, like cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). As an afterthought, it might also be helpful to ask how “taking a pill” can possibly resolve a memory? It can’t, at best it can “mask” a symptom.
How to get over it.
All Riv Hypno Therapists are experts at helping to identify and resolve the memories that cause depression. We are all trained to know what to look for, how to recognise it when we find it, and most importantly what to do with it when we have found it.
If your depression has appeared over a relatively short period of time, there are most likely a relatively small number of events that you need help with. They may seem quite severe, but they are definitely not unresolvable. The more intense your experiences of those stressful events were, the more intense will be your depression. If this sounds like you, be confident we can help and most likely in only a couple of sessions.
If your depression has occurred slowly over an extended period of time, it is highly likely you have experienced a larger number of what may appear as more “minor” events. Minor only insofar as they were not experienced as completely and utterly soul destroying at the time, but the experience was quite “disturbing” nonetheless. If this sounds more like you, we can definitely help. Though it may take more sessions to get the outcome you are looking for, simply because of the number of events that need attention.
Whatever your experience of depression may be, whether you find yourself in the depths of total despair, or simply cannot explain why you seem to be perpetually running on “flat-batteries”, we can help.
You can get your life back, your energy and your enthusiasm back. There is no need to go through life feeling miserable. Pick up the phone and call, or contact us via email for a no obligation chat.
All Riv Hypno Therapists know, “The problem is never the problem” and “If you do what everybody else does, you will only ever get what everybody else got”….
We get outstanding results because we do not do what everybody else does!!!!
If you would like to read a heart-warming story about a woman who had been suffering with major depression for 35 years….Click here……
35 years with major depression: Going….Going….Gone!
Article submitted by James Duncan of Riverina Hypnotherapy.
This is the story of Anna (not her real name). She was my very first client as a professional clinical hypnotherapist, and a client who I will never forget.
Anna came to me as a referral from another therapist. She was in her early sixties at the time, but looked dramatically older. Anna had been suffering from major depression for over 35 years. She had tried everything the medical industry could offer. She had been on virtually every anti-depressant medication available. She had been under the care of a number of psychiatrists over the years. She had seen counsellors and psychologists and had never managed to overcome her depression. It was like a parasite sucking the very life out of her.
Anna had migrated to Australia from an eastern European nation that had seen many years of military conflict. This fact scared the living daylights out of me. I imagined all manner of possible atrocities associated with war that could be the cause of her depression. This was a big challenge for me, who was at that time an inexperienced therapist. It seemed that I was Anna’s last resort. She had all but given up hope of ever finding permanent relief from her depression. I put my own fears aside and did what I was paid to do.
We had three sessions together. The first two sessions involved asking a lot of questions followed by some deep state hypnotherapy. They each lasted around 3-4 hours. The third and final session lasted two and a half hours and involved only counselling.
The beginning of the end.
The first session revealed a lot of information that helped me identify some of the causes of her depression. It turned out that Anna was in an “arranged marriage” and although she liked the intended husband, she never actually loved him. They had gone to the local registry office to inform the relevant authorities of their intention to marry. On the way home, her intended husband sexually assaulted her in the snow. She had never forgiven him for that.
There was a previous event that seems totally unrelated, but actually underpinned a lot of other things. As a very young child of 4-5 years, Anna had been playing in a field with her cousin who was a few years older. The cousin had managed to get Anna’s coat from her and playfully refused to give it back. Anna was fearful of her mother’s reaction to her coming home without her coat.
Anna chased her cousin around for a while, and in the process managed to work herself into an extreme state of anger. The same kind of anger she felt at being assaulted in the snow. This clearly demonstrates that perception is a very subjective experience. From an adult’s point of view, this event could be considered trivial. From a five year olds point of view it was torture, and those emotions had been trapped inside Anna for nearly sixty years.
Other issues dealt with in the first session included being forced to move to Australia against her will. The resulting separation issues from her family. A very big fright involving water also featured prominently.
As a result of the first session, Anna thought it had been rather useless. She did however concede that she was sleeping much better and a number of her physical issues had mysteriously vanished, but she still felt depressed. Although not as depressed as before the first session.
The probing question.
The second session, I asked one of the best questions I have ever asked: “Is there a time, in the last 35 years, when you have not been depressed”? Anna was shocked by this question, and even went so far as to comment that no-one had ever asked her that before. She thought it was a great question.
It turned out that Anna had gone on a trip to her homeland one year, by herself. He husband could not go, so Anna went alone. From the moment she learned she was going home to see her family her depression lifted. She described her time with her family in Europe as the “happiest time of her entire life”.
We dealt with a number of things including her feelings towards her mother’s death, her father’s death. The tragic suicide of one of her brothers. The death of one of her sisters. Anna was heartbroken from the obvious loss, but also felt incredible guilt at not being able to return for their funerals, and monumental resentment towards her husband for not finding a way for her to be with her family at those times. By the end of this session, Anna looked like the weight of the world had been removed from her shoulders.
Third time lucky:
In the third session a month or so later, Anna was smiling for the first time I had ever seen. She happily told me stories about her grandchildren and her daughters. However, Anna still felt she was depressed. After a series of questions, I managed to conclude that the issue now was the way both Anna and her husband argued with each other. It seemed that whenever Anna’s husband would display anger in any form, Anna would close off into herself and try to pretend he didn’t exist. This behaviour is known as “stonewalling” and it is absolutely the least effective communication device available. This learned reaction had become a habit that only ever made the situation worse.
Given that I had been extensively studying the various relationships between emotions and their physical reactions, it occurred to me to ask about her husband’s physical health. It was revealed that he had a very long standing issue with his right shoulder that appeared to be caused by his work as a tradesman. As every Riv Hypno Therapist knows, the problem is never the problem; it just looks like the problem.
I concluded that he must have felt extreme and ongoing guilt. He felt like a total, complete and utter failure as a husband. This led me to remember that every interaction we experience with another person is either an expression of love, or a request for love. If you can remember this, the answer is always the same. Find a way to express love in a manner that is acceptable to both people. Simple.
I pointed out to Anna that all anyone ever really wanted was to feel loved and appreciated. She took my point. She could also see that her behaviour was totally preventing him from feeling “loved and appreciated” In short, she was with-holding love from her husband in many ways, and she was wearing the consequences: Ongoing depression.
Love: An unlikely weapon in the war against depression.
I had a great idea. I suggested to Anna that the next time he “got angry”, instead of doing what she always did, hide within herself and “stonewall” her husband, how would it be if she walked up to him, threw her arms around his neck, gave him a huge hug and said….”I love you, you have been a wonderful husband and a fantastic father to our children and I am so glad to have been your wife”…..
Anna looked completely mortified! She said in her heavy eastern European accent, “Oh my God, I have not kissed him for ten years, I can’t do that” She was a little surprised when I suggested that maybe that was the real problem. Ten years without being kissed in a marriage is enough to make anyone depressed.
A cheeky smile crept across her face as she said, “Ohhh….he’s going to be very very shocked” I coached her a little further by telling her not to be too surprised by his reaction. He will want to protect his feelings and will probably say something like, (in my best eastern European accent)…What is wrong with you woman? Have you gone mad, are you on drugs, are you dying? However he reacts, just stand your ground and be as loving as you can.
Anna started to laugh and said, “I will do it!!! But he is going to get a very big shock!” The session ended there with Anna thinking it had been the best session of all.
It ended with a kiss!
A few days later I got a phone call from Anna. She said… in her heavy European accent… “James, I do what you tell me to do” I asked how it went. She replied laughing “He was yelling and being angry and as I started to go into myself, I said NO, stop, enough of this! Then I remembered what you said. So I got up and walked to him and threw my arms around him like you told me and said to him “I love you, your children love you, you have been a wonderful husband and I am so glad I married you” Excited, I asked her what happened next. Anna said, “You wouldn’t believe it, his face dropped. He looked so shocked. Then he say to me…chuckle…he say…”What is wrong with you woman? Are sick, are you dyeing, are you on drugs?” It was near enough a word for word quote from how I had told her he would likely react.
She told me that she just smiled at him and gave him another hug and said “No, I am not dying or on drugs, I have just realised how much I love you.” With that he burst into the biggest smile. Anna told me she had never seen him so happy in her life. Since that point in time, she kisses him goodnight every night. She kisses him goodbye in the morning when he goes off to work. He looks so much happier, and best of all, her depression has gone….completely. I secretly suspect his shoulder mysteriously got better as well.
This is a true story. It very clearly demonstrates how complex depression can be. It provides evidence that stored memories can wreak havoc on your life. It shows clearly the benefits to everyone when love is brought into a war zone. Without realising it, Anna had been waging an unconscious war on her husband, and they were both the losers as a result.
What do you want? The fast road or the slow road? You get to choose!
If ever you doubted the awesome speed and efficiency of hypnotherapy with a skilled therapist, you can doubt no more. This story very clearly demonstrates that 3 hypnotherapy sessions could achieve what 35 years’ worth of medical and psychological treatments could not.
If you have been enduring ongoing depression and struggling with merely managing it, isn’t it about time to try a different approach? We never guarantee overnight results, but it certainly won’t take 35 years to get you back into loving life.
Pick up the phone and make the call, or send us an email. We are only too happy to have a chat to discuss how we may be able to help you.
At Riverina Hypnotherapy, I know without doubt: “The problem is never the problem, it just looks like the problem” and that “If you do what everyone else does, you will only ever get what everyone else got”
I get astounding results because I do not do what everyone else does!